Why I Haven't Cried in Four Months

I haven’t cried since Ryan deployed four months ago.

For the past four months, I’ve been running on adrenaline. 

My day starts with a baby’s cry at 6 am and ends with me either passed out on the couch binge watching Madam Secretary or at midnight when I finally make my way to bed.

Our morning routine looks like this:

• Feed the baby first

• Make a protein shake for my toddler

• Turn on PBS

• Work out

• Make breakfast

• Get things together for our outing or preschool

Getting 2 kids and myself out the door is an Olympic event. Most days, I’m wrestling my 3 year old out of his pajamas. I mean why would he want to take off his Woody PJ’s for a boring t-shirt and shorts?

I’m not complaining. This is the life I know. The one where mama doesn’t have time to cry.

Even though I’m exhausted and missing my partner, I’m not miserable. I’m sad, I feel defeated sometimes, but I’m not alone. 

That’s the key. 

I am surrounded by friends. God’s got me. My husband is as present as he can be (thank you 21st Century technology). I ask for help. My family visits once a month to give me a break. I plan out my months with trips, activities & visitors.  

I stay busy. This life is hard but it doesn’t have to be miserable. 

The big cry is coming. Maybe I’m just holding it in for when my real relief comes in a few more weeks.

Look girl, your home doesn’t have to be perfect. I haven’t done laundry in a week.

Your kids don’t need home cooked meals every night. We eat a lot of Chick-fil-a or Trader Joe’s frozen meals.

Just get out of the house as much as you can. Make a friend at Target. Join a mom’s group like Stroller Strides or MOPS. Just don’t sit at home thinking you’re the only one going through a hard season.

You’re not alone. Don’t be alone. 

You can do this. 

Photo Credit: Kerry Lee