Cross Country Road Trip with Kids Pt. One

Ten days into 2020, we embarked on a cross country road trip to relocate to our next military duty station. We left our home for 4 years in San Diego to move to North Carolina. We learned about the relocation the same month my husband, Ryan, returned home from a six month long deployment. We had only two months to organize ourselves and get across the country so Ryan could start his new job.

I was an emotional wreck at first. I was shocked at how quickly we needed to move our family of four and a dog. I wasn’t ready for the fast goodbyes and utilizing the military to pack up and ship our stuff (previously & before kids we took care of packing and moving our goods — but that’s a story for another blog post). My routine for embracing military life is as follows:

  • DIG my heels in & complain

  • Sulk some more

  • Let it go and take action.

After much back and forth, we decided to pack a trailer of essentials. This way we would have at least some of our things when we arrived to North Carolina. Since we utilized military packers and shippers, we knew our stuff could be delayed or placed into temporary storage. In short, we had no idea when we would see our stuff again.

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The decision to drive from California to North Carolina was largely based on the fact that Ryan has just returned from deployment. I thought I needed to spend every moment I could with him. I romanticized the idea of us driving together with our kids and dog in the back and visiting historical landmarks. Ryan was reluctant. He wanted me to fly ahead of him with the boys (3 years old and 8 months) to start house hunting, while he packed up the house and drove a rental truck with our dog across the county. When he finally agreed to the family trip, he put me in charge of planning our hotels and meals throughout the journey.

We first decided on this route: Phoenix, AZ > Albuquerque, NM > Oklahoma City, OK > Memphis, TN. We would spend 4 days on the road before we reached Ryan’s parents in Georgia. We would stay in Georgia for 2 days and then drive the remaining 9 hours to North Carolina.

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After we solidified the route, I researched hotels. I looked for ones that were not only kid-friendly but also captured the essence of the city we were staying in. Once we secured our hotel stays, I began our packing list.

I knew traveling with a three-year-old and 8 month old would be challenging. We would be in the car an average of 7 hours a day, which meant car naps, missed nap, and frequent potty breaks/car side diaper changes. It meant we needed a variety of snacks packed in the car and necessary supplies for making formula for our baby. It also meant pre-downloaded episodes of TV shows and movies to entertain our toddler when books and conversation didn’t suffice.

Here is the list of our MUST-HAVES for each of us in the car:

Austin (8 Months Old)

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  • Diapers

  • Wipes

  • Formula

  • Thermos for holding hot water

  • Gallons of purified water

  • 6 bottles

  • Change of clothes for each day

  • Toys/Soothers (rattle, pacifier, chewable toy)

  • Blanket

  • Portable Sound Machine

Nolan (3 Years Old)

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  • Tablet with pre-downloaded movies/episodes and charger cord

  • Change of clothes

  • Snacks (top shelf for him were fruit snacks, Goldfish, and juice boxes)

  • Books

  • Blanket

  • Cuddle Buddy (his stuffed dog)

The Parents

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  • Snacks/Candy hidden from 3 year olds eyes

  • Five Hour Energy for Ryan

  • Water to share

  • Harry Potter Audiobooks

Once we started the drive, we were surprised at how well the boys did in the car. I think it’s partially because we lowered our expectations drastically. We counted a good day as one where the boys slept at least one time for 45 minutes or more and where we ate 2 full meals before reaching a hotel.

We also quickly learned that each parent needed to be responsible for one kid during potty breaks. This made for no negotiations about who would change the diaper this stop. I handled the baby and Ryan handled the toddler. Ryan taking Nolan helped alleviate my fear of dirty public restrooms for kids, if I didn’t see it I didn’t worry about it.

**Coming soon// Pt. 2: Details on the hotels we stayed at and what we wish we knew before we started our drive!

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