Generation Mindful: How I’m Ending Time-Outs
I heard about Generation Mindful when my now 4 year old was entering his “terrible twos.” I didn’t utilize the program then because I felt like I had a “good handle” on his emotions. Nolan is a very reasonable child. If you explain a situation to him face to face, at his level, he generally responds well. He is a peacekeeper. Back then we utilized “time outs” that lasted to the count of 10 or as empty threats where “time outs” couldn’t actually happen. It worked until it didn’t.
After his younger brother came along, I noticed his emotions were getting bigger. His bounce back rate lengthened. My patience also was on edge. I needed something “new” to help Nolan understand his changing emotions and give myself confidence again.
Enter: Generation Mindful. They created “Time Ins” and “calming corners” to teach children strategies to regulate and respect their emotions. I was drawn to their “Time-In Toolkits” as a way to help myself better understand my sons’ needs.
This question is what got me to say “yes” to the program: What if "Stop crying" turned into "I'm listening" for an entire generation?
Generation Mindful, gifted me with a Ready to Hang Time-In Toolkit.
How to get ready:
The first step to preparing for your toolkit is to read the printed & digitally sent materials. These materials give you a full overview of how to be successful with this program. Do not skip this step, so many important questions are answered.
Once you receive your toolkit and read the materials, pick a place for your child’s “calming corner.” This can be tricky at first. You want to make sure the “calming corner” is in a neutral space (not a bedroom or typical play area).
Next, decide if you want to purchase frames for your hanging materials. I found inexpensive frames at Michael’s. I like the clean look of black frames.
How to introduce this program to your child:
Once the “calming corner” was set up, I spent some time introducing Nolan to his area. We talked about each poster. I explained that this was his place to go whenever he felt an emotion like sadness, confusion, boredom or anger. Each poster offers visual guides to help you and your child learn “calming strategies” when they’re feeling a big emotion. Nolan liked seeing and pointing to ways to help “calm down.”
We played with his “PeaceMakers Mindfulness Cards” and “My Feelings Card Deck.” These activities help children “recognize the four different mood-groups we all feel in the average day.”
It is important to help your child feel safe and comfortable in this area. When the time comes for him to utilize it, the space doesn’t feel like a “banishment.” Instead, he will feel confident that he can look and see ways to feel better.
The resources displayed in this space “teach children how to name emotions.”
The goal is to eliminate forced “time outs.”
How it is going:
So far, Nolan loves having a space that is his own when he feels overwhelmed. He has willingly asked to go to his “calming station” for alone time, away from his brother.
One time, he threw a toy at Austin, which made his younger brother fall to the floor in tears. I asked Nolan to meet me in his “calming corner” while I assessed Austin.
At first, it was difficult not making the space seem like a place of punishment. I needed to separate the two boys while I checked to see if Austin was injured. After calming Austin down, I found Nolan in his “calming corner” crying into his pillows. He said, “I don’t want to be in trouble.”
What helped me in this situation was referring to the “Calming Strategies” poster and “My Feelings” poster. I was able to walk Nolan through naming his emotions & picking strategies to try to help him calm down. Once calmed down, we discussed what happened between him and his brother. He explained that he didn’t hurt his brother out of anger, it was just a poorly chosen game.
The “Time-In Toolkit” helped me to regulate my own anger in that instance. It’s easy for me to just “yell” when I’m upset. Having the corner gave me a chance to calm down and actually teach my son instead of react to him.
If you’re invested in learning more about Generation Mindful or getting your own “Time-In Toolkit” find more information: here. You won’t regretting going all-in with this program.
If you’re a military family, you save 25% off!
This was a paid collaboration with Generation Mindful.
SnuggleBuddies: Nolan loves hugging his “Orange Fox (Joy)” as a calming strategy to identify his emotions.
