I Tried Breastfeeding My Last Baby

Welp, nursing just isn’t for me & my boys.

For some reason, I am really good at birthing babies, but I can’t make milk for them.

I thought this time would be different. Third times a charm, right?

The past week of navigating feeding my newborn started out exciting. I felt hopeful this time around. Griffin had an excellent latch. I had help with my other kids to focus and get this thing right.

Then after Griffin dropped 11 % of his birth weight in 3 days, I started losing hope. I whipped out my breast pump. It made me feel more discouraged.

After 2 days of nursing & pumping every 2 hours, I started breaking down. The isolation from my kids & the sound of the pump were getting to me.

Was this what I really wanted? Was this what I needed? How long could I wait for this magical milk faucet to turn on?

I want to be clear that my attempt to breastfeed Griffin, isn’t to right the “wrong” of me formula feeding my other two sons. I simply wanted to experience it. And I did, for 6 days.

I love formula. It’s blessed my life because it nourished my sons when I couldn’t. And it’s going to do that for a third time for me.

Breastfeeding doesn’t define my motherhood. Formula doesn’t define it either.

I do. ♥️