I used to describe myself as a mother as, “frazzled and fragile.” But that was when I only had one child. As a first time mom, I was obsessed with doing everything “right.”

I was going to be a breastfeed my baby anywhere while dressed super stylish with ONLY new top of the line baby products kinda mother. I even made my son homemade baby food. I cloth diapered and baby wore because what better fashion statement is out there than to wear your child?

I look back at posts I wrote about my first, and cringe. I did WAY TOO much that stole the joy away from being a first time mom. I want to help you if you’re struggling to enjoy your baby and this motherhood journey.

As a mom of 2, I can say, I truly LOVE the newborn phase. It’s so comforting and sweet…perhaps it’s because I’m comparing it to raising a toddler…but that’s content for a future post.

I regret not allowing myself to enjoy my first son, because I was so hung up on what I EXPECTED motherhood to be like…and then I was disappointed in myself for not meeting my expectations.

So here's some advice (take it or leave it):

1. DROP your expectations. I promise motherhood won’t be what you imagined. This is your time to become and expert in your baby. Study him/her.

2. To keep your baby dry at night, get night diapers and size up.

3. Every hard stage/sleep regression/witching hour ends eventually. You’ll get through it.

4. Don’t obsess over milestones. If your baby is struggling, pay attention to that and talk to a doctor, not your friends. Don’t compare where he/she is because if he’s not truly behind, he will get there. Your kid will eventually crawl, walk, and poop in the potty before he’s 10.

5. Take videos of the newborn stage even though they seem boring. Maybe no one else will care if your baby is grabbing that toy, but you will want to remember it when your 3 year old is wiping his booger on your shirt.

6. Don’t be afraid to ask for help—you can’t do it all and you shouldn’t. Also, set boundaries with those who won’t help you.

7. Put the phone away and be present. They grow up too fast. Spend 20 minutes just making your child laugh.

8. Don’t be so hard on yourself! It’s okay to make mistakes, just love your kids and apologize if you’re losing patience.

9. Allow your partner to parent in his/her own way. Give them a chance to figure it out. If you micromanage, you steal their confidence. Allow them to connect with your child without you. There isn’t one perfect way to parent, your child needs both of you.

10. HAND-ME-DOWNS are your best friend. If someone offers, TAKE THEM. You child doesn’t need to wear the most expensive newest outfit. He will only destroy it with poop or dirt.

11. Try to have a sense of humor. You will be peed, pooped, and spit up on for years now. Laugh it off. Also sleepless nights & parking lot diaper changes are best handled with humor.

12. Don’t obsess about being overly prepared. Just make sure to have enough bottles, diapers and outfits with you in case of a blow out. I hate carrying around a diaper bag so most “extras” are stored in a bag in my car at all times.

13. NEVER SAY NEVER…you will feed your child junk food, their favorite food will be french fries and you might not be able to breastfeed. Go with the flow!

14. Don’t buy new baby gadgets like swings or stroller. You can find gently used baby items on Facebook Marketplace or at a local consignment shop!

15. MOST IMPORTANT: FIND MOM FRIENDS!! You need to have a group of people you can vent to about motherhood and that can remind you that you’re doing a killer job. I joined a local MOPS group and am truly thankful I did. You can find a MOPS group near you HERE.

YOU’RE WELCOME <3

—> Parents, what advice would you add?