If you have siblings who share a room that also doubles as a playroom, expect it to be messy 90 percent of the time. We decided to have our two sons to share a room about two months before my third son was born. My oldest son was 4 years old and my then youngest was 20 months. Our reason for room sharing was because we needed a room for our new baby. We also thought it would help our middle son transition better if we had him share a room with his older brother before the baby came home. I asked around to my mom friends to see what they experienced and they all advised, do it before baby and put them to bed in the same room with separate bedtimes.
How it started:
Overcome by a need to “nest” (this is a pregnancy thing people), I suggested to Ryan that we just “see what happens” when we put the boys in the same room. So we did it. They were both so excited. Nolan thought it would be just like a “camp-over” (camping+sleepover). Our one BIG mistake that first night was we put both boys to bed at the same time. Our oldest aka “the rule follower” went to bed as he normally does. Our youngest aka “Mr. Trouble” took bedtime as a chance to yell his nickname for his brother, “BEE” until he responded. We listened over the monitor to the incessant “BEE” calling. We watched Nolan cover his head yelling back, “quiet Austin, it’s bedtime.” This back and forth continued even after Ryan went in to tell Austin to “be quiet and sleep.” After 30 minutes of this, we decided to remove Nolan from the room and let Austin fall asleep first.
Since that first night, we made adjustments to the nighttime routines. Some nights the boys slept from 6:30 pm (Austin’s bedtime) & 7:30 pm (Nolan’s bedtime) to 7 am (the goal). Other times, they’d wake up before 6 am. We are not fans of the older kids waking up before we do.
Here’s a breakdown of what worked and didn’t work for our family, in hopes that it can help you if you’re deciding to add room sharing to your household.
What didn’t work:
Putting them to bed at the same time
The crib—see video below of Nolan trying to help Austin out of the crib in the morning.
Our youngest wakes up before our oldest
Daylight Savings Time—why is this still a thing?
What is working:
Black out curtains. This keeps the room super dark, which means we they do use a nightlight.
Toddler bed with Dock A Tot Grand. I didn’t want to have two cribs, so we bought this toddler bed from Amazon.
Separate bedtimes. Austin goes to bed first around 6:30pm or 7pm. Nolan goes to bed around 7:30pm-8pm. Creating two separate bedtime routines may seem like “too much” but it gives each child special time. My oldest loves it especially because during the hour after Austin goes to bed, he can play “big kid” games with me and my husband. He craves that one-on-one time with us now that he shares us with two younger brothers.
“Time to Rise” clock. We use the Hatch. If they wake up earlier than the clock, either go back to sleep or play until the clock plays their “wake up” music.
If your kids room share, do you have any tips you’d add for a smooth transition? If so, please add them in the comments! If you want to try room sharing, ask any questions about the process below in the comments. Good luck out there parents!