Going from Two Kids to Three
I thought this transition would be the easiest. I always said that going from being a couple without kids to having a child was the hardest. When we decided to grow our family with a second child, I found myself enjoying the added chaos. What’s one more kid to add to our already hectic life?
It seemed easy because we saved all the baby items from our first child. We weren’t insecure new parents. This wasn’t new, it was just one more. Thanks to Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood teachings and the fact that our first was basically 3 years old, the new baby fit. Looking back, even my husband deploying 10 days after the birth, didn’t break me as much as I anticipated. But then again, that could just be blissful hindsight tricking into thinking it was “that bad.” You can read about that time of me running on adrenaline. Friends and a routine kept me sane while I solo parented for 6 months.
When it was just me and my two kids, I wrote a blog post on second-time parenting advice, it’s still applicable, so if you’re tangible advice, read it here. The rest of this post will be my honest detailing on the changes three children has brought to my life.
A third child is a whole new level of chaotic. I am accepting that my former routines must be retired. My expectations altered. I allow more screen time, outside play and less baths. I cook primarily out of my Instant Pot. My workouts happen at night when the children are asleep. I transitioned my youngest to his crib sooner than his brothers. I formula feed with no regrets. I have only lost 7lbs at 6 months postpartum. I’m in my 30s now.
Things are much hardest this time around because my time and attention are less. My older children need different levels of my attention. I end my days regularly worry about what didn’t go exactly right.
I remember worrying that I wouldn’t be able to give enough of myself to my younger sons.
I compared myself as a mom of one child, to my new mom of 3 status.
I can’t compete with her. I’m in a different league now.
I’m doing more with less. The good news is my two youngest boys, don’t know what they’re missing.
They don’t know the old me, I keep comparing myself to.
They don’t think they’re missing out. This is their normal.
I need to stop wishing I had more & focus on loving where I’m at as a mother.
I am a more present mom now because I know how fast the early years go.
I just blinked at my oldest turned 5.
What I’m learning is that my expectations don’t match my reality. I am not the same mother I was with two sons. That’s okay. Each added child means I transform. I need to let it happen and trust that we have enough to raise these boys to become great men. It’s okay to doubt myself because in all honesty, I am not enough. I am only the best when I ask for help and truly accept it.
Photos by Sadie Starke Photography