Guest Writer’s Series: You Don’t Have To Be Enough
By Savannah Dorris
As I was cleaning and organizing our little craft/home-school corner of the playroom this past week, a thought hit me…I’m not enough.
I pushed the thought aside and kept working because that’s what we do, right? As mamas, wives, and strong women we push through, dig our heels in, fight for joy in the midst of difficult times and run our race with endurance. But as I hung up day 4 of the boys’ creation craft on the display line, tears began to overwhelm me. I quickly had to stop working because I couldn’t see anymore.
If you’re anything like me life catches up sometimes, and your will to persevere doesn’t win out. All of a sudden it doesn’t matter that you woke up and put on your face to get to work tackling your day. Not having a choice, I gave into these emotions and quietly asked God what this was all about. I could feel the anxiety creeping up - the anxiety that said, “we don’t have time for this, Savannah. You’ve got too much to do today. Get yourself together.”
But I just couldn’t, so I asked myself where this was coming from? Why do you not feel like enough, Savannah?
The answer was easy: I can’t be all of these things.
A quick glance around the room revealed “all of these things”, all of the many hats I had been wearing lately.
The flashcards and workbooks were the evidence that I had been preschool teacher this week.
The train and construction mats with endless vehicles scattered revealed I had been playmate, perhaps even superintendent of a job site or train conductor.
The indoor jungle gym - PE teacher.
Creation crafts and kid’s worship songs still playing in the background - Sunday school teacher/art teacher.
Toy kitchen - home economics teacher.
Mamas, we fulfill our roles while maintaining the most important - loving parent. A sense of pride welled up in me. My goodness, I thought, God has equipped me to do all of this. But in the same moment, suddenly, it all made sense.
No wonder I was tired and overwhelmed. No wonder on this day I emotionally, physically, and spiritually just felt like I wasn’t enough. My body was literally telling me—You’re tired. You need to rest. You actually aren’t enough. You can’t be all of these things all of the time. You were never meant to be.
To echo the words of Psalm 73:26, my flesh and my heart were failing. But here’s the good news: “God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
So I began to tell myself truths about God, while sitting there a mess in the playroom: He covers my failings with His strength, He is the only one who is all sufficient, and He is self-sustaining, not dependent on human hands in any way. What’s more, He will give me everything I need to do His will (Hebrews 13:21).
I have to remember I was never meant to bear fruit all the time. Psalm 1:3 says of one who delights in the Lord, she is “like a tree planted by streams of water that yields fruit in its season.” Did you catch that?
It’s okay to feel like you’re not enough to be everything you can possibly be all the time. Even an apple tree doesn’t have apples hanging on its branches to nourish other life all the time. It needs time to rest.
This is why God made us to rest, yes even you, mama who doesn’t have the time to finish even two sips of coffee before it gets cold. Jesus says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). He is enough.
In this unprecedented time of Covid-19 we find ourselves in, let us not grow weary in doing good when we don’t feel like we’re enough (Galatians 6:9). Don’t quit; instead, let’s lean on Jesus, delight in His Word, affirm who He is to our souls, and trust Him even with the practical things.
You’re not sure if your kids are going to be okay 5-10 years from now after living through all of this? Give them to Jesus. Don’t carry around that weight and beat yourself up for not protecting them enough from the effects of this pandemic. He is their God too.
He can take care of them even 20 years down the road. Single mama, are you wondering if you’ll be enough to make it through this school year as both mom and dad? Don’t worry. God the Father is enough for your baby; He is the best father this world has ever known.
Ladies, take joy in the fact that you are not enough! It frees you because you realize, “I’m not enough, I shouldn’t be enough, and I don’t have to be enough.”
Lay your pride at His feet, accept your weakness, so you can then take on His strength (2 Corinthians 12:9). Approach His throne of grace boldly and accept help in times of need (Hebrews 4:16). He is enough. Let yourself break at times, feel all the feelings, and then look to the hills where your help comes from (Psalm 121:1).
Savannah Dorris is a wife, mother of two toddler boys with a little girl on the way. She is a NICU RN turned stay-at-home mom for now. She spends her mornings seeking Jesus and days finding the joy in every moment. She uses her blog to share a little fashion inspiration or a lot of encouragement to pursue Jesus and find all they need in Him.
Read her latest updates at https:/thehq.blog or follow her on Instagram @sbdorris11.