There is this side to military life that isn’t  talked about often. 

It’s the “how are you doing” after the dust of a big move settles. How do you handle life after a big change. 

As a military spouse I try not to complain to avoid comments like “you knew what you signed up for.”

If you’ve been with me a while, you know in the past year, my husband went on a 6 month deployment 10 days after our second son was born. 2 months after he came back, we moved across the country from our home in San Diego of 4.5 years to a small town in North Carolina. We bought a home and spent a month remodeling it before we moved again. 

A friend asked me how I’m handing it all & now that the dust is settled and I’m able  process it all—I’m sad. 

I’m sad for the friendships I left behind. I’m sad to start over again. I’m sad we moved during a global pandemic without a support system around us. I’m even sad that I’m sad. 

I also know myself, and personally this feeling is a part of how I process change as a military spouse. 

I go with the flow, I complain, I suck it up, I get sad, then I move forward. 

I’m allowing myself to be in the sad phase. I’m not keeping it all in, I’m talking to the necessary people. I know this phase is temporary. I’m excited to get to the “move forward” phase. But I’m just not quite there yet. 

Things will get better. I hated San Diego when I first got there (I was also newly pregnant so that added another element). I know I will find a solid community down here soon. 

But until then, I want to affirm military spouses who might be in the post-PCS sadness. 

It’s okay to be sad right now. Be sad. Just don’t stay there. You’ve been here before. The sadness is only temporary. 

Photos by: Kerry L Photography