I’m Not The Exception to the Race Rules

2020 has forced me to unravel parts of my past I suppressed because I didn’t have the tools to speak about it. Race has never been something I felt comfortable talking about. ⁣
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As a child, I told people I was Beige, not Black. As a child, I didn’t want to be seen as Black. WHY?⁣
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That WHY is what I’ve been wrestling with and fighting to understand. That WHY was taught to me as a child from school, my neighborhood, my friends and even my church. ⁣
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As a first-generation American to immigrant parents from the Caribbean, they didn’t teach me how to be Black. They taught me how to assimilate: work hard, fit in & use the privilege of my parents’ sacrifices to get ahead. ⁣
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You see my dad is a Black exception. He went to Stanford & then medical school. My mom came to America at 18 & paid her way through nursing school. ⁣Did they get those opportunities because of affirmative action or merit? What do you think?

Me + Dad

Assimilate — keep your head down — don’t speak up — that’s how they will see your worth & accept you. ⁣
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Years of silence have only made me insecure in my Blackness. It’s me unable to stand up for myself. I’m not an expert on race. But I am an expert on me. ⁣
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Friends, thank you for walking this journey with me. It hasn’t been fun for me but it’s been necessary.