Our Family’s Nighttime Routine
Managing my energy level has been one of my biggest struggles as a mother of three. I’ve never been a “happy” early riser despite my children’s jubilance in the AM. My days start at 6:30 am but I clock out at 6pm thanks to our new family nighttime routine. With three children under the age of 5, I often end my days feels overstimulated and touched out. To combat this fatigue and ick, my husband and I devised this plan to help me reset for quality time together after the kids are in bed.
The gist: my husband puts our kids to bed while I straighten up the house.
The nighttime routine starts after dinner, which usually ends around 6 or 6:30 pm. After dinner, it’s either 30 minutes of playtime or bath time. Either option depends on where we are in the night timeline. If we end closer to 6:30 pm, we skip the bath and head straight in to cleaning up toys and getting dressed for bed. Bedtime is 7:30 pm, because that gives Ryan and I time to have time together before we are ready for bed.
Bedtime routine: Bath // Pajamas + Brush teeth // Clean up toys // Potty // Read 2 books // Bed
While Ryan leads the bedtime routine, I focus on cleaning up the kitchen and dining room. I used to resent doing the dishes but now they help me reset my busy days. I listen to a podcast, audiobook or will call a friend to chat. This helps make the time go fast as I’m washing bottles or wiping down counters for the 100th time.
When Ryan is finished with the children and I have the house looking “how I like it,” we are able to come together and just be together without me feeling resentful for having to be “on” all day.
In our marriage our goal is to keep each other first above our kids. This might seem countercultural but we value each other first. Before we implemented this routine, I often felt bitter that Ryan has these “breaks” away from family duties with his job. I felt solely responsible for everything going on in our home and with our children. I wasn’t good at sharing tasks but I learned I needed to let those things go if I wanted to have peace with my spouse.
We also learned that the bedtime routine helped Ryan connect more with the kids. Since he’s away all day at work, he’s missing quality time with the children which I experience at an abundant level as a stay at home parent. Letting go of being involved in this time with my kids helped me give him something he was missing.
This truly has been a win win for our entire family. There are plenty of days where I still do the bedtime routine because Ryan is working late. I usually put Griffin to bed while Ryan is getting the older boys bathed or dressed. The point is to find ways to be a team and not allow resentment to build up on unspoken feelings.
What is the bedtime routine with your children like?
