Guest Writer’s Series: Crushing the ‘Woe is Me’ Mindset as a Military Spouse
By Taylor Blackburn
Every time my soldier leaves my heart aches. Like a piece of my heart walks out the front door right alongside him and I won’t get it back until he safely returns. He could be leaving for a few days, weeks or months and that ache settles deeply into my heart no matter the duration of his absence.
Military life is tough at times, for me dealing with the emotional aspect of doing life SOLO is one of the most complicated things to sort through. I’ve had to work hard at figuring out the best way to overcome those “Woe is Me!” thoughts and find victory in keeping my emotions in check.
Here’s what I do, I remember that I miss him... and he’s missing me too PLUS:
He’s sleeping in the dirt or on a cot alongside lots of other smelly soldiers while I get to curl up in our big comfy bed.
He’s sipping stale lukewarm coffee out of his canteen cup while I get to enjoy my piping hot coffee with extra French vanilla creamer + a dash of cinnamon.
He’s shaving from a cup with cold water and going without showers while I get to relax in a bubble bath at the end of a long day.
He’s eating MRE’s or going without while I take my pick of any number of items in our pantry or fridge and even then, if nothing appeals to me, I can grab some take out instead.
He’s working countless hours of every day, elbow to elbow with exhausted soldiers who sometimes all begin to take their exhaustion out on one another as the days begin to blur... while I get to fill my days chatting or spending time with friends and family to keep myself busy.
He’s living out of a little square box with stinky and soiled uniforms + misc. items. Meanwhile I get to clean my clothing and home any time I want. All while I enjoy the scent of a fall candle burning in the background.
Those are some little reminders I tell my heart in the aching as not to forget the empathy I need to extend towards my soldier and the hard he’s enduring in addition to missing me (plus our family) too!
As military spouses, we have a unique opportunity to focus on supporting our soldier instead of nonstop sharing about our sadness over them being away. I know it’s challenging to move past the heartache BUT when we do, my goodness is the joy and support found as a result beautiful!
I’m a huge advocate for finding joy in the journey. No matter what the journey looks like I believe JOY can always be found. Sometimes it just takes us adjusting our perspective and fixing our gaze on Jesus a little more to find it.
I hope you find joy in your today, friend.
Taylor is an Army wife of 9 years & SAHM mama to three. When she’s not busy organizing military gear or homeschooling her young kiddos, she pours her heart into her Camo&Cuddles Podcast, writing an upcoming devotional book for military spouses & coming up with raps to make people smile. Connect with her on IG : @tay_blackburn. Check out her latest Military Spouse Rap.